I've said it before...

And I'll say it again. I'm a terrible blogger! ;_; 

Not much to blog about, though. I feel like I'm caught in limbo with Gwen. And for the past week or so, I actually feel like we've gone backwards, rather than forwards with our relationship. I dunno. I'm finding it hard to be motivated because I'm not seeing the positive "return" so to speak. I'm also fighting general lethargy more related to long work hours, and really, really HOT weather, than to equine activities. Regardless of cause, or reason, the result is the same; my lack of motivation means ZERO progress has been made. Bleh. We still can't do a figure 8 to save my life, but hey.

I'm trying to find ways to motivate myself to go out and DO something with Gwen at least 4 days each week, because this lack of activity is killing us. My main enemies are: the weather; work stress, and confusion/lack of knowledge about how to proceed. So, how do I tackle these three problems? Hrm.

I can't do much about the weather; it is what it is. I can make sure to go later in the evening when it starts to cool down, but it's still a factor. It will start getting cooler in the fall, but that has it's own problem (like rain, and lack of indoor/covered areas).

As for work stress... well, that's always going to be there, and all I can really do is just... push through it. MAKE myself go to the barn, and MAKE myself at least bring Gwen out and do SOMETHING with her. Deadlines and quota's help with this. If I tell myself "Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, you will do XYZ with Gwen..." I usually follow through. I try to leave the exact task undefined, and see how Gwen's feeling... (but that can lead to the third problem; lack of knowledge/confusion about where to go from here).

As for that, well... I don't have an answer there. So moving on...

My next great adversary in the motivation-battle is harder to deal with. An Audience.

Since school is back in session, it means that riding lessons are now hosted in the evenings... which is when I go to the barn. I got super spoiled all summer because of summer-camp. No one rode in the evenings, and most of the time I was THE only person there! It's so much easier when no one is around to see me. Now that people are back, not only is space super limited, but now I have the added presser of an audience. And I do NOT do well with an audience. I get tense, Gwen starts reacting, which makes me MORE tense knowing someone is watching me look like a complete idiot, which  means Gwen acts up MORE... etc.

I don't want to be back in the round pen, especially in the blazing heat (it is called the 'hot box' for a reason...). Argh!

So I'm grumpy, and pout-y, and all-around full of self-pity lately, with no real idea how to snap out of it and get back in the groove of things. :/  At least I'm going to the Parelli Horse & Soul tour in October! Maybe that will help...

J

To Infinity... and Beyond!

I don't normally go to the barn on the weekend. Since I work right across the street, and it's otherwise a very long drive from the house, I tend to stay home on the weekends and visit Gwen Mon-Fri after work. Since this past week was so terrible in terms of weather, and I only got to see her on Monday, I drove down yesterday to spend some quality time with Gwen, and play a few games.

After watching a few Savvy Club episodes (in particular, one on the figure 8) I decided it was high time we got good at that one. It's the only thing standing between us, and our first audition video.  Until yesterday, I didn't really play with the figure eight, mostly because I wasn't sure how to approach it. After watching the video, I had a much better idea of how to teach Gwen the pattern.

Since she's an RBI, I knew I would need to take it slow. Thankfully, Linda talked about what to do with an RBI + figure 8, what some common hang-ups might be, and how to move past them. I felt pretty informed and confident. Gwen and I had been having a few relationship issues which, after some deep thinking about it last Friday, I realized was all my fault (no surprise there!). I'd kinda forgotten the most important aspect of Parelli: Put the relationship first! So yesterday, I went to the barn with that in mind, with the idea that we would try out the figure 8, if everything else went well. 

To my surprise, she offered to talk back to the gate with me! Ever since the Neck Bite incident, she hasn't offered to meet me half way, or walk back without the halter (relationship issues). But, she offered to talk back with me on Saturday, which surprised and humbled me. So far so good!

We had our customary groom/graze session, and I noticed a couple other riders grooming and tacking up not far away. I didn't really want to try and play with Gwen when there were other horses in the ring, but after a quick inquiry, they told me they were going down the trails. Awesome! Ring to myself :) However, they took their sweet time mounting up and getting going. As a result, Gwen and I spent quite a bit of time just standing in the ring, as we waited for the trio to mount up (using the mounting block inside the riding ring, as it were) and get comfortable walking around. I didn't mind waiting at all, and used the time to love on Gwen, rubbing her neck/head/ears, and just being with her. In return, after about five minutes, Gwen gave me a huge sigh and just completely relaxed. From now on, I'm going to make it a point to make sure she gives me a sign of relaxation before we actually start playing.

After the other riders left, we played a little driving game, and then I set up the barrels under a shady tree so that we could start the figure eight. She happily followed me around as I set things up, and showed so much curiosity at the barrels (she even offered to push and roll one with her nose!) that I just played around with that for a while.

I decided not to use my stick/string, because sometimes she shows tension when I have it. We started slow, just backing between the barrels and then playing a circle game around them and me. After a turn or two, we tried a figure eight. I got one whole pattern before she started getting tense and anxious, and then shut down. I waited, and then put her back on a circle before trying again. She did really well for her first time, though she's not exactly sure what I want, and tends to start getting anxious about all the direction changes after about one/two figure 8's., but I think for our first day, it was a big success.

Hi pretty girl!

At the end of the day, I took her for a walk down the street to a patch of grass/trees on the side of the road. It's the same place I tried to take her a few months ago (back when I first started playing with her) where she got so upset and nervous about being away from her buddies, that she wouldn't even nibble. This time, though she had a few "What's that!?" moments, she walked along with me very easily (no tension in the rope, never needed to stop or wait) and got right down to the business of grazing. Yay! Happy horse :)

Our new grazing spot.

"What's that!?"

Tomorrow we'll try our figure 8 again.



J

Whee!!

Weather has been terrible. It's either sunny and 100+ degrees, or it's thunderstorming and raining! I haven't been to the barn since monday due to work and weather (:P) so I don't have anything to report on that front. But, I do have exciting news!  I went ahead and got two tickets to the Parelli Horse and Soul tour that's coming to Katy TX in October!!  Whee!! I've been debating about this for a while, since it's quite a long drive (159 miles, ouch!). But I really wanted to go, and seeing that members get FREE tickets?!  How could I NOT go!! I'm going to have to start stashing cash so that I have plenty of spending money. WHEEEE I'm so excited!!!

(and even better, the non-horsey boyfriend is going to come along too!)

Hiding behind a tree. Silly Gwen!

J

Long Overdue

Wow. I can't believe it's been over a MONTH since I last updated! I am a terrible blogger. At least I'm better at other things, right? Heehee :)

Anyways, here's a summary of what Gwen and I have been up to:

Lots of online games. Been focusing on Yo-yo /= circle. She likes to back up, and then go right into a circle, so I've been focusing on backing up, standing, and then giving her something to do (either moving into a circle, or coming back to me, mostly). There's been a lot of emphasis on standing patiently and waiting for me to ask her to do something. A lot of this had to do with ME, rather than Gwen. I got into a really bad habit of backing her up and then sending her off to do something else, without a lot of waiting. 

More recently, I've stopped using the yoyo as a preclude to the circle game entirly. Instead, I just porcupine her nose until she's about arms length from me, and then ask her to circle while I let the lead slide through my hands.

The Circling game is my favorite, and I've been trying really hard to stay concious of how many times I ask her to circle, so that it doesn't become boring for her. I try to mix it up, so that sometimes she circles once before I ask her to come in, sometimes it's twice, sometimes it's only half a circle. Sometimes we walk half, trot half, stop. Sometimes we walk a little, trot two steps and stop, etc.  I've been working on her canter, too, which she's not overly fond of.  I think it's a balance issue, though. When I ask her to canter, I know she understands what I want because she'll get a grumpy face, arch her neck/round her back, and kind of hop along at a really bouncy/weird trot for a stride or two, and then she'll either settle back into a trot (if I don't say anything) or "sorta" canter if I reinforce the request with another verbal "Canter!" And by sort of canter, I mean that it's not really a canter, but it's not really a kick/buck. As soon as she takes even half a stride of canter, I ask her to yield and slow down, so that she's rewarded as soon as she complies.

The reason I think it's a balance issue is because she has NO problem cantering when we're in the round pen, which has a bigger circumfrance than what the 12' line can give her. So I think she feels unconfident, and is worried she's on too tight a turn to canter without tripping. It's one of my biggest motivators for wanting a 22' line, so that we can practice cantering more. She's always had a small "issue" with cantering, even before I began playing Parelli. I remember riding her, and dreading the canter because she'd usually buck. Not a bronco-busting kind of buck, just a kick with both feet, but it was enough to throw me off balance and ruin our departure. As a result, I don't plan to ask for anything under saddle until she's comfortable on the line/ground, for obvious reasons.

We've also been "jumping"! Or, Gwen has. In an effort to spice up our circles and to introduce her to the concept of jumps, she's been going over poles and small caveletti-like jumps. She's not a big horse, so even the smaller stuff makes her hop over it like a real jump. She was very unsure of this game when we first played it, and there were a lot of trot circles that screeched to a halt before the jump so that she could investigate and walk gingerly over the pole. After the second day, she was actually hopping over the jump at a trot, both directions. She's not a huge fan of jumping, but her confidence has grown. Instead of worry, she's more apathetic towards the jump. Sort of an "Another jump? Mooooom, whyyyyyy? *pout*"

Our "jump" with barrels as standards.

We can confidently walk over the bridge now, too. And we've begun to practice with figure 8's around cones and barrels.

Last week we did absolutely nothing, mostly due to the fact that, a week ago last thursday, I brought Gwen out of the turn out with a huge bite on her neck (horse bite, not bug bite). Poor thing! It was very swollen on one side, and actually bleeding on the other. So she got a lot of down time as I waited for it to heal. Tomorrow will be our first day back in the arena.

Left side, first day she got bit. (this is after I washed it, so she's all wet)

Right side, all swollen. First day.

And that's it! 

-J

Little Maverick! So cute!

And... Exhale.

My new job started this past Monday, which means I can finally get settled into a routine again! For the past month, I felt like I was running at full-speed, with barely a chance to collect my thoughts. Two different jobs (training at the new one while finishing up the old) really didn't leave a lot of time for Gwen. I did get down to the barn a couple times a week, but I was so mentally exhausted we didn't really do anything besides graze/groom and walk around the ring bareback. So our games have gotten a little hazy as a result. When I've got it together, she's great. But when I can't remember what's up and what's down, we go to pieces.

But while we might not be on our A-game in the games-department, our relationship has REALLY gotten great!  For the past week and a half, Gwen has started meeting me "half way" when I go out to get her from the turn out. When I get close enough for her to see me, I'll give her a little 'Hi pretty girl,' call. In the past I might have gotten an ear flick. Now I'm getting two eyes, two ears, and a lifted head!  I've begun making it a habit to really slow down my pace, and kinda lumber (exaggerating my body sway, to look more relaxed and less predator-stalking). It started at 10 feet; I was lumbering my way towards her and she took a couple steps in my direction. Next day it was further, next day further. Now, I can stop about 15-20 feet, and she'll walk the rest of the way to me, and follow me back to the gate without needing her halter.

But today I got one of the greatest rewards to date. All those past times, there was nothing contesting her attention. Today, there was hay on the ground. I noticed as I walked out that they had been fed recently, and figured this would be a day where I'd have to halter her to get her to the gate (since all previous times when hay was involved, she had no interest in walking away from it). To my complete and utter astonishment, she LEFT HER HAY and met me "half-way" and then followed me back to the gate! I couldn't believe it! I am so amazed, and really, really touched by this. It was awesome!

Since my new job is literally across the street from the barn, I'm going to try to visit Gwen every evening. On those days when I don't get out until after 6, I'll probably just make it a quick trip, with some grooming and undemanding time. On the other days, when I have more time in the evening, I'm going to start pushing myself to get back on track as far as our games/play sessions go. I've gotten really lazy, and it's time we got back at it. I really want to pass our level 1 online, and for that we need practice-practice-practice! Me especially. I need a ton of work when it comes to being OK with people watching me. I didn't realize I had such a problem with spectators, but clearly I do. Whenever I even think someone might be watching us, Gwen starts acting like she has NO CLUE what I'm asking her to do. And I know it's my energy that's got to be getting to her. Time to get over the stage-fright!

In the mean time, enjoy pictures of the new baby at the barn!! He was born a week ago last Sunday. In these pictures, he's only two days old!

Sooooo cute!!

Baby! And mama's leg!

Look at that face!

Pretty blue eye!

His mama is a foundation-bred Quarter Horse named Slate. His daddy is a sorrel paint named Bandit. You can't see it in the photo's, but the coloring on his legs is actually a shimmery silver color! Unfortunately, he'll probably lose that as he grows up, and it will either turn black, or go gruella. He's so freaking adorable! And he absolutely loves people. They recently opened up his stall, so he's got a double-sized area. He gets let out into the arena with mama at least once daily, so he can run around and kick up his heels. When he's a little bigger, he'll get to play with he OTHER baby at the barn (who is a month or two older than him, I think...)

J

Fun Times!

I definitely did not intend to wait this long to post again! But, a ton has happened including... a new job! Hurray!  And with the new job comes a pay raise, double hurray!! I'm so excited! Not only is my job LITERALLY across the street from the barn, but I'm making more and will be getting regular raises which means, with fingers crossed, I should be making enough within the next two years to buy Gwen!! So that is my goal: save and work hard, and be able to purchase my pretty mare by summer of 2014. It's a lofty goal, but I have faith!

Speaking of Gwen... I did get down to the barn two Friday's ago, with the boyfriend and a camera. Of course, as soon as you put the horse, and the person (me) in front of a camera, we promptly forget everything we ever knew about anything. Our circling was terrible, our backing was terrible, our yo-yo was terrible, our touch-it was non existent... seriously, it was sad. I was embarrassed, and very very humbled.  It was bad enough that I've decided not to post the footage. Not out of vanity, but because I feel like it's a really poor example of what we're capable of. When the camera is not involved, we're so much better.

I know all of our "problems" that day were due to me. I don't consider myself camera shy, but there were a number of factors going on that day that were "new". It was the first time my boyfriend was watching us, and it was the first time we were being video-taped. I wasn't nervous, but I guess I felt a little pressure to show-off how good we are. Gwen certainly reacted to it, though not in a performance-enhancing kind of way. It was a bummer, since I was kinda hoping to video my Level 1 audition... but obviously we need to work on keeping our cool under pressure. We called it quits very early on, and went back to grazing.

After that terrible Friday session, I came home and thought a lot about what went "wrong", and also how to work on Gwen's attitude toward being ridden. I decided that I was probably asking a bit much of her all at once, and that breaking down the steps might help. So I really broke it down. On Monday, after grooming, I looped the lead over her neck and hoped on bareback, and then just sat there while she got to graze on the patch of grass by the turn-out. And that's all we did. I sat, she grazed. It was great. When my butt finally couldn't take any more (she's kinda bony...) I slid off, brushed her down again, and then turned her out.

Tuesday was a rinse-and-repeat kind of day. More sitting and grazing, and that's it. I didn't even touch the lead-rope. It was there purely for safety reasons. It's kinda fun to sit on her while she grazes. She gets to eat and doze, and I get to practice balancing myself on a horse once again. I haven't ridden seriously for almost ten years, and my body has changed so much since then (gained a little weight, balance has shifted, not fun). It was harder than I expected for me to just sit/move with her while she grazed, and keep relaxed and not tense up. especially when she shifts her weight to one extreme side. 

Sitting and Grazing!

Wednesday I did it again, lots of grazing and sitting, and balancing. I introduced some very minimal requests (such as moving away from the fence, or moving out of the bushes) but nothing too demanding.  Then I was gone Thurs, Fri, Sat and Sunday due to personal and work obligations.

So today was my first day back at the barn. I decided we'd riding in the arena today. I looped her lead around like I normally do, and then we walked over to the arena. We weren't the only ones riding, but it wasn't overly crowded. I spent a good five/ten minutes working with her on the ground first. We did some flexing, a little "standing and doing nothing" with the friendly game, played a little touch-it. And we did all this while I was wearing my helmet, and she had the lead knotted around her neck like I usually do when I ride. Everything was feeling really good, especially after our long hiatus from playing any games, that I decided to give riding a whirl. I hopped up on her, spent some time standing and flexing, and then asked her to move off at a walk and follow the rail. If we had been alone in the arena, I wouldn't have cared about direction, but as it was I had to make sure we stayed out of the way of the kids having their lesson.

We weren't perfect, but we did SO MUCH BETTER than every other time I have ridden!  I got direction changes without much complaint/argument. Only once or twice did I really have to be persistent about where we were going, otherwise she followed my suggestion very nicely. I tried to stay as relaxed and loose as I had been those earlier times (the sit-and-graze days), and made it a point not to ask her to do anything with my leg, since she seems to dislike it. I found that if I ask for a turn/direction change with both reins (as opposed to just direct-reining) she does a lot better. I am by no means an accomplished rider, but I think we did pretty well today! I'm very optimistic, and would like to continue riding her a little bit each day.

Happy horse after riding! Yummy grass

J

Riding.

My relationship with Gwen has hit a snag. Or, rather, I've found a snag in our relationship. On the ground, we're doing fantastic! Way ahead of where I thought we'd be, after only two months (Has it really only been two months!? Wow.)  I can tell by the way she reacts and responds to me when we're in the turn-out. When I walk up to her, she stops eating, gives me an eye and an ear, and pays attention to where I go. When I start to walk off, she happily follows after me without any pressure on my part. I simply have to start walking and she follows. This is beyond amazing to me, and the fact that it has now happened consecutively, means that I know it wasn't a fluke.

We're doing amazing on-line. She's attentive, happy, and willing to do what I ask. I rarely have to go beyond phase two, and we're fine-tuning our phase one. She'll walk and trot in the circle game, going off voice-commands alone, and we're working on canter with amazing results (she's been fussy about canter in the past, but this is not something I'm concerned about as she's making gigantic leaps forward each time we play, and I'm confident that what I'm doing is helping her be confident at all three gaits). She Yo-yo's like a champ, is yielding her forehand reliably (if a bit touchy on her right side still) and will touch just about everything I lead her up to, including the dreaded bridge (which I actually got her to walk over today, yay!). 

We've been doing SO well, in fact, that Monday and today (didn't have time to be at the barn yesterday) I decided to take it a step further and start riding again. Nothing fancy, just looped the lead around her neck and hopped on bareback. Monday, all I did was lead her to the mounting block, hop up on her off-side, and then we just stood there. Literally just stood at the mounting block and did absolutely nothing (well, lots and lots of friendly game while on her, but that's it). When I was ready to hop off, I asked her to move a few steps away from the block and then dismounted, and we ended on that.

Today, after a on-line, I got on her again. This time, I did not use the mounting block, but instead mounted off of the bridge. This was a non issue, though I think I surprised her, as I've never mounted her without the block. As soon as I was on her back, it's like I had a completely different horse. I'm so bummed out.

She gets defensive, locks up, super tense, makes really grumpy faces (that persist after I've dismounted until I've "rubbed" them away), doesn't want to move. I've touched on this in the past, when remarking about her behavior when I'm on her back, so this was nothing new. Previously when I've ridden her, she's displayed annoyance at my legs. What I mean is, when I ask her to move off of leg pressure, she tends to tense, and swing her head around to "bop" my leg with her nose.

Knowing this, I decided to adopt an approach that involved absolutely no leg pressure whatsoever. Since she goes off voice commands so well on the ground, I just wanted to use those. Since we were the only ones in the arena, I just left the "reins" loose across her shoulders. She got to pick direction, etc. I just wanted to dictate speed. We did a bit of walking, but when I asked for trot (using voice, and a bit of encouraging clucking) I got the same reaction I used to get with leg pressure; grumpy face, head swinging back toward my legs. This completely stumped me, as I was making sure I didn't put ANY pressure on her with my legs. We eventually got a few steps of trot, but she was so tense and jerky it was uncomfortable, and she was so clearly miserable that I didn't try to move her when she slowed down/stopped.

Instead of trying again, we just stayed parked where she'd stopped, and I did lots of rubbing on her, and talking to her, and finally just dismounted. Her grumpy face stayed until I rubbed on her head a bit, and she "came back to herself" for lack of a better explanation, and became the happy Gwen I'm familiar with. I did not want to end there. I was pretty determined to make some progress with "riding", if just to get her comfortable and happy-faced (or, not grumpy faced at least) with me mounting. So, we played a lot of friendly game with her by the mounting block, and then I did a lot of "leaning over" and rubbing on her side, then swinging my leg over, sitting for half a beat, and then dismounting off the other side. She seemed relaxed enough through it all, and didn't try to move away from the block while I was getting up/mounting, but I don't know if this is "progress" or not.

Basically, I'm stuck. I don't know where to go from here as far as riding is concerned. I'm more than willing to work on this for months/years if I have to, but I just want to know that what I'm doing IS going to help her, and isn't just making things worse. It's as if she doesn't realize that the person that's on her back, is the same person that's on the ground with her. Seriously, it felt like after I dismounted and played on the ground, she went from grumpy to "Oh, it's you! OK, let's play" and she was happy again. Right now, I'm pretty discouraged, and don't even want to ride, because I'm not sure if it's helpful.

This is definitely a plea for help/advice, so if you're reading this, I highly, highly encourage comments and advice. I'm pretty confident that it's something I'm doing. My boyfriend has agreed to go to the barn with me on Friday, just so that he can video me working with Gwen on the ground, and on her back, so I can see what's going on. I will definitely try to post that video, and will be seeking advice/comments/thoughts on it.

Keep in mind that I do not actually own the level 1/2 DVD's yet, and have only see the level 1 stuff that's posted on the Parelli Connect page. Purchasing the level 1/2 is something I very much want to do, and I wonder if it will help out with what I'm experiencing as far as riding Gwen. Is this simply a case of needing to work more on-line? Do I just need to do a LOT of "sitting around doing nothing" on her back? Any advice is welcome.

Thanks for reading,

J

p.s this is not a sleepy face. This is her post-Grumpy, coming back to Happy face. I get an ear, but she's clearly not happy. :(