Whoa, Nelly

Was watching some videos of me and Gwen that my boyfriend shot earlier this summer. I never posted them because I felt like they were a terrible demonstration of what Gwen and I could do. I remember being frustrated with almost every game we tried to play, and my overall feeling was that we could do so much better, and WERE doing so much better, when the camera wasn't rolling.

Well, I re-watched those videos tonight and... wow. I saw so much more than what I saw the first time I watched them, and what I saw/felt during the actual event. I saw so much that I needed to improve on. For instance, though I didn't feel like I was moving especially fast at the time, watching Gwen as she reacts to me, I realize I am moving very, very quickly from one request to the next. When doing hind/fore yeilds, there is very little pause between when I ask her to move her hind quarters, and when I ask her to move her shoulder/head. It's not super sonic speed, but I can't help to wonder how she would have done if I had gone just a little slower, took a little longer of a pause between requests.

At liberty in the round pen, there was a moment when she turns in off the circle, and I try to encourage her to come in/walk with me. I turn and start walking slowly and Gwen doesn't follow. During the actual event, I wasn't very surprised and turned around and came to her instead. Watching the video, I can see Gwen's reactions, and thought process, and she actually TRIED to come to me, but I just moved too fast for her; I was way too fast between the invite (turning and walking) and when I "gave up" and went to her instead. Her ears were on me, and she had that look on her face like "I might go stand with you... oh. You came here instead".

I remember feeling so disconnected, like she wasn't listening to me. Watching the video, I can totally see her /trying/ to get me to listen to her, but I'm the one who's deaf. Her body language is totally there, and I'm just  not seeing it, not responding... and we only get worse as the video goes on. 

Wow. Talk about eye-opening.  But I'm encouraged, because I feel like I am much better at reading Gwen now, than I was back when the video was taken. And now that I see how quickly I tend to move, without realizing it, I'm going to make it a priority to go slow, take long pauses between requests and long pauses between games, and see if I can read Gwen a bit better.  And I definitly want to have us video'd again, to see if I improved at all.

J